When I attended the Divorce Care classes at a local church, I remember one week’s topic being dating. A big point made was that we should find happiness with ourselves before we even try dating again. While I was a bit excited to see what was out there, I made myself wait until I was truly ready.
In my first year I had a wonderful relationship that ended unexpectedly. It took me a bit but I eventually browsed around some dating apps again. I talked to a few that didn’t quite get my attention. I met a couple of duds. Then I found a good one.
We met at a local coffee shop and one we both got through our awkwardness, we really hit it off. We texted a lot, he brought me coffee after an extra long stressful day at work, and we went out a few times. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that his son has the same rarely heard of anxiety disorder as my older two children. Oh, and, he had worked with my brother in the past.
Things were going great. I was excited to get to know him even more. As I did, it became apparent that he has a history of rushing in to relationships because he doesn’t like being alone. It was difficult, but I had to tell him I could not see him anymore. In the nicest way possible, I told him that I think he needs to find happiness with himself before he can have a great healthy relationship.
I understand loneliness. Even with three children, I get it. I know it’s different for those who don’t have their children with them full time. I know all situations are different. But it is completely my belief that if you cannot find happiness by yourself, you’re hurting yourself and you’re hurting any future relationship. I get loneliness. But I’d rather work through loneliness and find my forever person later, if it means more happiness and a healthier longer lasting relationship.
Go find your happiness. Do something for YOU. Then go and find your own forever person. <3